Why I Keep My Camera Close to Me…

The snowfall last night created a big headache for everyone in the Twin Cities metro who had to be out on the roads today.

But for one little boy, waking up to that soft white blanket covering our yard and street was nothing short of a dream come true for him.

His bus was over an hour late.  So while we waited for it to arrive, he played in the snow and I snapped a few frames so that I could always remember how intensely happy he was this morning.

“Mama! I’m gonna get you!”

He’s the boy who made me a mama almost seven years ago.  And today? Today we played.  He crawled around the yard on all fours, roaring like a polar bear.  He made snowballs and lobbed them at me while grinning away.  He picked up handfuls of (clean!) snow and ate it, leaving a white goatee on his chin.

And in a moment of unscripted and pure glee, he dropped to the ground on his back and flapped his arms and legs and made the most perfect snow angel I have ever seen.

When he closed his eyes and tried to catch snowflakes with his tongue, I laughed out loud with him and clicked away.  I alternated between watching him through my lens and just simply watching him.  Trying to take it all in and tattoo this moment on my heart forever.

Rosy cheeks and lips are a sure sign of winter fun.

I’ll never forget how special this morning was to me.  While some people may be irritated at how awful the commute was or how inconvenient a late bus was, I sit here thinking about how lucky I was to be home today and experience this.  I hope that he always remembers that fun morning the first time it snowed in December 2017.  And if he doesn’t, I’ll show him these photos of himself and tell him all about it.  Having these photos is my insurance that I won’t forget the details when we talk about it.

“Mama, I wanna go back outside and be a polar bear again.”

While my mama heart is feeling all the feels about the emotions of the morning’s memory making mini adventure, my photographer heart heart is doing a happy little jig over the beautiful morning light.

All the photos were taken within 20 minutes of each other within a 10 foot circle.  They look so different depending on what direction I was facing.  As I watched him, I thought about different ways to capture both what I was seeing and trying to see it through his eyes too.  I’m so glad that I took the time to step back and consider both the scene and be intentional about what I was capturing.

Someday, long after I’m gone, I hope he looks at these photos of himself and knows without a doubt how very much I love him.

I love him for who he is now and who he will become in the future.  I love him for how he sees the world, even if I don’t yet understand it.  I love him for how he’s changed me for the better.  I love him for his big feelings. I love him for him.

I love him infinity…


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